Silly words that make your insides go all squishy :3. Also sometimes they hit you right in the feels. Not cool bro, not cool… e_e…
aUGH OKAY BUT REAL TALK Y’ALL.
I used to be terrified of people seeing my writing. I had no faith in it, or myself. I used to slam my laptop shut if I heard someone approach while I was writing - I actually broke a screen that way!
And why? Because I didn’t think it was good enough to be seen. I genuinely thought I couldn’t write. I hated it. At times I still do.
I know you guys have told me I write well, but this is a major emotional thing for me. This year, since I published that thing I wrote, I have undergone such a transformation. I have friends now, and confidence in myself, and I am not only proud of my writing but happy enough with it I try to help others improve their own writing, and will do all I can to inspire that confidence and optimism in those who come to me for advice.
I don’t know how to describe it, but when people tell me I’m Senpai, as stupid as it might be, I feel close to tears sometimes, because in one year I’ve gone from being the girl who deleted all her files and screamed at people who tried to look over her shoulder at anything she’d written, to an author, who is proud of her work, loves to share it, and has been shaped into a better person by it in so many ways - and someone, now, other people might see and want to write more like, who people might look up to, which is insane and makes me emotional in really strange and wonderful ways.
I told you this so many times already, but when I first read Not Like That, before I first spoke to you, it’d always bring a smile to my face. I was delighted to read it because it was fun and easy and the writing was wonderful, and now that it is ten times better I’m very proud to say that I helped you get where you are today, even though you barely needed my help at all.
Sending you that ask that day and contacting you over Skype was the best thing I ever did. Talking to you was so easy. We shared tips, we brainstormed, we wrote so many wonderful things together. I know you like my stories too but the fact remains that you are much, much more talented than I am, and the stories we wrote together are the ones I’m the most proud of.
Even though now I barely have time to write anymore I still look forward to those rare days when we work together, and I know I always will.
I hope we can always be a team. Please keep teaching me your ways, Khemi-senpai!